The Brown Panda Store:

Come on down to my eBay Store and check out my wares:

http://stores.ebay.com/The-Brown-Panda-Store . I have Baoding Balls, Airsoft items, Small Electronics, Asian Curios, and other fun stuff for you to blow your wad on. Check it out!

Movie Review of the Day:

UHF

UHF... one of the splendid films of my youth. I remember when this movie came out and the television station was giving away tickets and there was going to be a huge event at the theater that weekend. I really wanted to be there, yet my family was going out of town that weekend and I had no choice but to envy those that attended. When we got back home, I was surprised to read the reviews that said that this film was a travesty and an insult to comedies. I waited until it came out on video (since going to the movies required a few hours of begging my parents for a ride into town). When I finally did see this film, I was amazed at how funny it was. The reviewers are just morons, I concluded.

These days, film studios are releasing all of their films that are loved and adored by fans. And with the advent of cable television, UHF has done something many films in this position have: become a cult classic. Sure, its following is small, but it's savage. Essentially, UHF is a vehicle for the God of Musical Parody, 'Weird' Al Yankovic, probably intended to promote him as a movie funnyman a la Leslie Nielsen. Despite being riddled with great jokes and a funny premise, the film never made Yankovic a leading man.

George Newman (Yankovic) is given control of a UHF station by his gambling Uncle Harvey. Under the control of the innovative young man, U62 goes from a constant relayer of reruns to a powerhouse of original programming. Leading the pack is the children's show hosted by U62's wacky janitor, Stanley Spadowski (a pre-Seinfeld Michael Richards), but other great programs include "Wheel of Fish," "Strip Solitaire," "Celebrity Mud Wrestling" (with special guest Mikhail Gorbachev).

When the little station-that-could starts threatening the ratings of network affiliate Channel 8, sadistic head honcho Kevin McCarthy starts making plans to stomp on the competition, with any means necessary.What makes this work is that there are literally thousands of jokes in this film, ranging from quick physical bits to minor film references (George makes a mountain out of his potatoes and starts exclaiming that it means something) to full-out movie parodies (Raiders of the Lost Ark and Rambo: First Blood, Part II get a good grilling).

There's no complicated jokes, no long set-ups - just gag after gag after gag.And therein lies what is also very wrong with UHF; It tries too hard, and forgets the number one rule of great comedy - "Timing is everything." There's no relief from the deluge of funny stuff, and it becomes just this huge long squawk of somewhat amusing material. It can become mind-numbing.

I recommend watching the film in half-hour increments, pausing for a few moments to cleanse the palate, so to speak.Yankovic, for all his brilliance in crafting jokes of hit pop singles, cannot carry a film very well. His comic acting consists of battering his head against things, making weird faces, and speaking in a voice that defines "geeky." However, you really have to admire his earnestness. You can tell that he desperately wants to make you laugh. It may not work, but the effort is certainly appreciated.UHF will not be everybody's cup of tea.

Rent it and give it a try. You'll probably either absolutely love it or savagely hate it. It's one of those kind of divisive films. It's good a few minor chuckles, perhaps a guffaw here and there, but it will never be a classic of the comedy genre, like My Man Godfrey or even There's Something About Mary. It just is what it is, and you may have to discover whether that's good or bad for yourself.

THE BROWN PANDA STORE:

Weird Al wants you to come and buy some stuff: http://stores.ebay.com/The-Brown-Panda-Store

Garbage Pail Kids and Baoding Balls

Baoding Balls:

You can come over to my eBay Store and buy some super-cool Boading Balls at discount prices! Come on down and check out my selection of awesome Boading Balls! I have worked hard to find a manufacturer and then import these balls into this great nation. Come on and support the cause and get your mitts on some really cool Baoding Balls! Please visit my store at :http://stores.ebay.com/The-Brown-Panda-Store for further details. I also sell other items, so check out what is listed. I hope you like what you see!!!

Movie Review of the Day:

GARBAGE PAIL KIDS THE MOVIE

Oh my God. That is exactly what I said when I first heard about this film while I was in seventh grade. I was an avid GPK collector and I had stacks and stacks of series 2 and 3 at the time. In fact, I had every single card in both of those series' and the 4th series was about to debut. It was a magical time for a kid like me who enjoyed gross-out humor and photos of babies doing disgusting acts, such as pooping and barfing.

So there I was, lined up at the theater on opening day with all of my tattered GPK cards in hand (I have no idea why I had to bring the cards with me). My dad was shopping at Orchard Supply Hardware, so I was able to hitch a ride and spend my allowance on this film. It was such a wonderful moment to find myself the first person in line for the 12:00 showing. Then I was troubled. I was the only person in line when the usher unlocked the door. Surely I was not going to be the only one in the theater for this fine cinematic gem!

I paid my $3.50 and headed for the auditorium as giddy as a pig sitting in fresh poop. I sat down and watched the stupid previews as I noticed that nobody was coming into the theater. Then the movie started and I forgot about the lack of viewers. Oh my God.

Here are my recollections of that film. You see, movies can come from many inspirations and sources. There are novels, plays, true stories, comic-books, video games and...trading cards? You may never have seen a Topps Rated Rookie Movie or a Hot Rod Film, but Garbage Pail Kids seemed to have the personality to make this movie work. A lower-lever trading card (such as the knockoff Trash Can Tots) would not make great cinema, but GPK could pull it off, in my young mind.

Barf, poop, farts, drool, and a crocodile-headed kid were the stuff dreams are made of. I watched with great glee as my favorite star, the young and super-cool Mackenzie Austin (of Facts of Life fame), came out and made me believe that the Garbage Pail Kids were real. I don't remember much about the movie except that there was a really hot 80's girl named Tangerine in it, a fashion show, and one psuedo-sexual scene where the girl named Tangerine takes off her shirt and reveals... a purple bra.

I remember Messie Tessie getting snot all over everything the movie; I remember Windy Winston farting all of the time; I remember Nat Nerd peeing all over the place; I remember Ali Gator trying to bite people; I remember Greaser Greg being a puppet-headed dunce; I remember Foul Phil, the smoking baby, who has bad breath; I remember Valarie Vomit who pukes all over the place.

The producers should have asked kids which GPK characters were the most popular. The Kids picked for this film were not even popular cards on the playground. I guess it is asking too much when I go into these philosophical debates with movie studios. Well, let's continue.

There was also some plot about Tangerine being a bad girl and locking the kids in the basement so her goons are able to kidnap and sell them off to the State Home For the Ugly. Once inside, we find out that all the other Garbage Pail Kids were murdered, and our heroes are next on the kill list. They're locked up in a cage alongside some of the world's other uglies: Santa Claus (too fat), Ghandi (too thin), and a clown, because he's 'too funny.' Trust me, it's much worse than it sounds. Finally, the Kids escape and let everyone else from their cages. Now they're ready for REVENGE!

The other day I rented this old chestnut from Nextflix. All I could say was Oh My God. After rewatching this film, I have come to two conclusions: either my parents did a lot of drugs while I was in the womb, or I was mentally retarded when I watched and enjoyed this film as a kid. Where can I start? The animatronics make Howard The Duck look like George Lucas-quality CGI. Where the hell is Jim Henson when you need him? So bad is the puppetry that the kids cannot even close their mouths and no one even bothered to lip-sync the dialogue.

The Kids are also disgusting beyond reason (as one who is familiar with the trading cards would expect). But after while they tend to grow on you (like an ulcer) and if you switch your brain off you might find that the film is alright. There's nothing magical here. Even for a film packed with horrendously 80's fashion and production design there isn't even much nostalgic appeal.

After seeing this film on DVD, I have decided that I would rather watch The Ewok Adventures back-to-back for a week with my eyes help open (a'la Alex on A Clockwork Orange) than watch Garbage Pail Kids The Movie again. The simple fact that the film was left with an open-end (oh God, please don't let there be a sequel) just pains me and I am extremely happy that films that leave the theater in one week are usually not allowed to have sequels.

I have kids now and I understand why parents did not want their children to see this film. It is not because the content is offensive; it is because the movie is just plain idiodic and the producers of this film must have believed that all children are mentally retarded. This film is one of the worst pieces of cinematic junk that I have ever seen. Thank God I survived after watching this mess.

Baoding Balls:

Come on over to my store and buy a few sets! I will make you a deal right now! Mackenzie Austin would reccomend that you visit my store: http://stores.ebay.com/The-Brown-Panda-Store

Sssssss and Baoding Balls

The Brown Panda Store:

Come on down to the Brown Panda Store for all of your Baoding Ball needs: http://stores.ebay.com/The-Brown-Panda-Store

Movie Review of the Day:

Sssssss

What can I say about this film? The title and poster say "schlock" about as loudly as I can imagine. Is this film good? Not really. Is it fun to watch? I would give that a yes.

I first saw this movie on channel 26's Creature Feature on a Saturday afternoon. My local station used to show schlocky monster movies at 12:00pm on Saturdays (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gMWkqRFbHTk&feature=related) and I did whatever I had to do to be home and in front of the TV to catch a glimpse of the not-so-scary monster movies that were showcased at this time.

I was treated to my first viewing of "Night of the Living Dead" during this show, as well as "Son of the Blob" and "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes". It was with great gusto that I sat down on that July afternoon and watched "Sssssss!"

Snakes... my wife hates them and when I say "hate", I mean she loathes them to the point where she won't even look at images of them. She is scared of cartoon snakes and will maul me to death if I even mention the word 'snake'. In fact, if I just start making a "sss" sound, I will be punched, slapped, or similarly maimed. As you can guess, I cannot even ask for the "salt" because it starts with an S. Myself, I have a fear of zombies, particularly those lumbering, George Romero ones (I think it has to do with the slow moving, large groups that will eat you to death), but at least I can enjoy films that feature them. Needless to say, Sssssss is a film I'd never be able to get her to watch with me... at least not without tying her to a chair and holding her eyes open with toothpicks like Alex on A Clockwork Orange.

Directed by Bernard L. Kowalski (Attack of the Giant Leeches, Krakatoa, East of Java), the film stars Strother "What we have here is a failure to communicate" Martin (Cool Hand Luke, The Wild Bunch), Dirk Benedict ("Battlestar Galactica", "The A-Team"), and Heather Menzies (Hawaii, Piranha), probably best known for her role as Louisa von Trapp from the film The Sound of Music (1965). Also appearing is Richard B. Shull (Splash), Tim O'Connor (Across 110th Street), Jack Ging (High Plains Drifter), and former USC football player and professional boxer Reb Brown ("Captain America", Yor, the Hunter from the Future), in his first silver screen appearance.

Strother Martin plays Dr. Carl Stoner, a herpetologist (one who studies reptiles) who specializes in the filed of ophiology (snakes), assisted by his daughter Kristina (Menzies), both of whom live on the outskirts of a small college town. Seems when the good doctor isn't collecting venom samples or engaging in snake handling demonstrations for the slack jawed yokels, he's busy working on a serum derived from snake venom whose purpose has yet to be determined. In need of a new assistant (his previous one `left' under mysterious circumstances), Stoner contacts an acquaintance at the college, a professor named Dr. Ken Daniels (Shull) who offers up a young student named David Blake (Benedict). David accepts the opportunity and moves in with Stoner and his daughter, where the doctor immediately begins David on a series of `inoculations', supposedly intended to build up his immunity to snake venom for protection in the event he gets bitten (yeah, right).

Anyway, David and Kristina start getting chummy (precipitated by a skinny dipping incident in a nearby lake, one that includes some carefully placed foliage), and David starts noticing some very subtle changes in his body to which Stoner brushes off as perfectly normal side effects to the inoculations (oh, those scales are the result of an allergic reaction...sure). After some business with a local jocko a-hole college football star (Brown) who's got the hots for Kristina, David soon finds himself in a world of trouble as the changes, while still occurring, aren't so subtle anymore.

Stoner, learning of Kristina's involvement with David, tries to warn her off, but she sees the attempt as purely interference from an overprotective father (seems she's unaware of her father's experimental activities). As you can imagine, things start going seriously downhill from here... While Sssssss was a feature film, it does have a made for 1970s TV feel about it most likely due to the fact most of the performers (with the exception of Martin) and the director previous experiences were limited to television work. I did enjoy this film, but there really wasn't a huge mystery in terms of what was going on or where the film was headed as the story, especially the opening sequence, tended to give away enough for an experienced viewer make their own conclusions early in the feature.

Despite this I still thought the film was a lot of fun, as it moved along well and featured enough creepiness to keep me engaged throughout (the transformation bit at the end was seriously warped). I thought Strother Martin did pretty well, as he wasn't really an evil scientist, but a seriously demented figure who took the whole naturalism gig a little too far, able to rationalize his activities (to himself, at least) for the sake bettering mankind. I did learn a number of things from this film including the following...

1. Old men and snakes enjoy a nip of booze now and again.

2. Never go sticking your grubby mitts into a herpetologist's car.

3. People tend to fear snakes for same reason they fear minority groups.

4. In terms of snakes, the king cobra seems the most uppity.

5. The Leather Tuscadero mullet hairstyle seemed oddly popular with women in the early 1970s.

6. The ability to shoot accurately apparently isn't a prerequisite for becoming a law enforcement official in a small town.

7. Never get into a tussle with Reb Brown as he'll toss you around like a rag doll.

8. Reb Brown doesn't have to pay for it...never has, and never will.

9. Nothing gets a woman you don't know in the mood for action like climbing up the side of her house and sneaking in through her bedroom window at night while she's sleeping.

10. Never get on the bad side of a herpetologist as they may just toss a poisonous snake in the shower with you.

11. Snakeman have a really annoying preponderance towards whimpering.

12. Strother Martin had a lot more guts than I ever will as far as his willingness to mess about with poisonous snakes.

It should be noted most all the snakes depicted in the film were real. Whether or not any were harmed during filming is unclear. The film is rated PG so the violence is pretty low key i.e. safe for television broadcast, but there are a couple of nekkid sequences involving the showing of male bumcakes (primarily Reb Brown in a shower with a semi-opaque shower curtain). There's a really funny bit where David and Kristina go skinny dipping, and both strip down, most of their naughty bits obscured by some strategically placed leaves, Austin Powers style.

I thought the makeup, specifically in relation to David developing reptilian features, quite good, at least for the time the film was made. One aspect of the film did seem a little strange, and that was the ending. While it was downbeat, it also felt abrupt as if perhaps the writers had painted themselves into a corner and had nowhere left to go, so they just ended it as best he could. Regardless, the film is still a lot of fun, especially if you dig on ookie creature films of the 1970s.

The Brown Panda Store:
Come on down to the Brown Panda Store for all of your Baoding Ball needs: http://stores.ebay.com/The-Brown-Panda-Store

Strother Martin would approve.

Little Darlings and Baoding Balls

The Brown Panda Store

First off, let's talk about the NEW AND IMPROVED Brown Panda Store. I have finally started my eBay store and it is now up and running. You can continue to purchase your Baoding Balls from the old site, but I prefer to sell from my super-duper eBay Store: http://stores.ebay.com/The-Brown-Panda-Store

I have some super discounts and neat-o designs that just came in. The above-pictured Panda Baoding Balls are proving to be the best sellers I have on hand. Come on down to The Brown Panda Store today!!! http://stores.ebay.com/The-Brown-Panda-Store

Movie Review of the Day:

Little Darlings

Ok, I admit that I am a lover of trashy B-movies. I love the old drive-in flicks of my youth and I miss the old local grindhouse (Fresno's Manchester Cinema) where you could see two trashy B-movies for $2 or the drive-in (Fresno's Drive In next to Malibu Grand Prix) where you could see a double-feature for $5 a carload. I miss the sticky floors, the stale popcorn, the dazed-eyed ticket girls, and the ushers that didn't dare try to quiet people down or make them act civilized. It was a grand old time.

You see, that was the appeal of grindhouses and drive-ins. You could watch movies with friends on the cheap and have a rip-roaring good ol' time. The experience was more than movies... it was almost like a right-of-passage and it gave many young folks an appreciation for trashy cinema with scratched negatives and mis-synched sound. Plus, you got to socialize and hang out, which gave you something to look forward to on the weekends.

Today's kids don't have any of that in their lives. They rush home from school to check out some message board or social networking site and spend all weekend on the computer instead of eating stale popcorn, sticky Mike and Ike's, and drinking flat soda while watching a couple of exploitation flims with friends. So sad.

Do you remember going to school on Monday and reenacting the movie or spoiling the ending for those lamers who didn't go to the movies? How about telling everybody about who was making-out, who got in a fight, and who got dumped at the movies? Today kids just text-message the news or upload some stupid viral video. The art of story-telling and exaggeration has been lost on this generation. I pitty the fools.

Now on to the movie. Little Darlings is a guilty pleasure if I ever had one. Christy McNichol was the girl of my dreams when I saw this movie for the first time and she has continued to be quite an attractive woman throughout her troubled life. Her "butch" attitude, while being totally femenine, was what grabbed me. She was cute but you knew that she would probably slap the hell out you if you got out of line. I like that in a woman.

The story is about a group of teenage girls that go to summer camp and bet on which of the two of them will lose their virginity first. After that, they choose targets, or guys they want to be the ones they lose the virginity with. Unbeknownst to the adults, all the girls in camp bet money on the contest and divide into two "teams," each rooting and egging on either Ferris or Angel. At the same time, the girls engage in typical teenager acts of fun, such as food fights and other activities.
The girls involved in the contest are opposites and rivals: cynical, suspicious and streetwise poor girl Angel Bright (McNichol) and romantic rich girl Ferris Whitney (O'Neal). Both girls discover that "it" is not what they thought it was.

Tatum O'Neal was cute, but too stuck-up for my tastes. Her role was McNichol's foil, but at the hands of another girl who seemed to be the shrewdest of instigators. The contest was well-played and the entire film seemed totally plausable. I enjoyed the tension, the dialogue, and the conclusion. In all, it is a very solid film.

The young Cynthia Nixon (the Flower Child) was a plesant surprise and I rather enjoyed the fact that the girls in the film appeared to be the ages of the roles they were portraying. Much like the newer (and more shocking) film "Kids", this movie plays with the audience's perception of youth and innocence. It is pure exploitation at its finest.

Whenever this film comes on cable, I must stop what I am doing and watch it. I'll relive the night when I saw this movie at the Drive-in with my friends and we were praying for a nudie-shot that never came. I remember the $5 pizza that I bought from the snack bar that was not worth $1 and the flat and tepid Pepsi that I bought. I remember Josh, Alex, and Danny all making moves on their girls and me being too wrapped up in the movie to pay my girl too much attention.

I remember the drive up to Sky Harbor Road (the local Make-Out spot) in Josh's 1964 Chevy Impala and the fizzy pony-keg in the trunk. The view from Sky Harbor Road was beautiful (http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1005/1425482016_e7fdb51958.jpg?v=1190503278) and the evening was filled with laughter during that hot August night. Those were the times of my life and Little Darlings was there to guide me through it. I give this film an A+.

Baoding Balls and You:

You really need a pair of Baoding Balls to work off the tension from watching this movie. Armand Assante would approve: http://stores.ebay.com/The-Brown-Panda-Store

Boading Balls:

Come to my webstore for a great deal on a set of Baoding Balls:

http://www.freewebstore.org/brownpanda

Movie Review of the Day:

Death Proof

Death Proof is a 2007 film written and directed by Quentin Tarantino, about a psychopathic stunt man who targets young women, murdering them with his "death proof" stunt car. The film, a tribute to the muscle car movie genre of the 1970s, stars Kurt Russell, Zoë Bell, Rosario Dawson, Vanessa Ferlito, Jordan Ladd, Sydney Poitier, Tracie Thoms, Mary Elizabeth Winstead and Rose McGowan. Death Proof was released theatrically in the United States as part of a double feature with Robert Rodriguez's Planet Terror under the title Grindhouse in order to replicate the experience of viewing exploitation films in a "grindhouse" theater.

While this film aims to emulate the B-movies of the late 70's, I hold this movie far and above anything produced in that period. Don't get me wrong, this flick is pure schlock, but it is engrossing, fun, and the dialogue makes it almost like slam-poetry. The way the characters talk and the vocabulary (not to mention the plethora of pop-culture refrences) is pure music to my ears.

The girls are well-cast and each is used to their maximum potential. In particular, Zoe Bell is my favorite because she is so real. Tracy Thoms is one of my fantasy-girls and so is the too-hot-to-hold Rosario Dawson. Mary Elizabeth Winstead is the weakest of the second set of girls, but somebody had to be.

The first set of girls is great. I think the only lag in the film happens when the girls act out the "Butterfly moment". It is a necessary part of the film but I felt bored while I watched that part. And how could I forget... Sydney Poitier is just plain freakin' hot. Her character is a skeezeball, but I have seen her in other films and she can be very alluring.

I really dig the opening credits since they bring up such a nostalgic feeling for 70's schlock. The music for this scene, provided by the legendary Jack Nitzsche, is pure fun. The way that Tarantino shot the film is incredible and I commend him for really getting to the heart of what 70's exploitation films are and then making a really classy version of one.

Now we head on to Stuntman Mike, played with great pleasure by Kurt Russell. He is Snake Plissken with human vulnerabilities. He is not pure instinct and he is totally human. If I saw Rosario Dawson's feet sticking out of a car window, I would probably do what he did if I could get away with it. He is THE MAN!

My only regret is a double-edged sword. I wish that Sylvester Stallone had been able to play Stuntman Mike, as was originally planned. The only problem with that scenario is that we would not have been party to Kurt Russell's take on the character. Oh well, maybe next time.

This film flopped at the theaters. It was a major disappointment for all parties involved except for the audience. From my research, this film has had an excellent second life on DVD and cable tv broadcasts. I know I own the DVD but I still tune in when it comes on Starz. The Grindhouse version is adequate, but the full DVD version is awesome. If you have not seen the DVD version, snap yourself with a wet towel and then go rent this version. You will not be disappointed.

Boading Balls:

Come on over to my store and buy a pair or two. Stuntman Mike would approve: http://www.freewebstore.org/brownpanda

Baoding Balls
First up, please visit my store for the best selection of Baoding Balls: http://www.freewebstore.org/brownpanda/

MOVIE REVIEW OF THE DAY:

Two of a Kind

No, I am not reviewing that John Travolta/Olivia Newton John turd that effectively ruined Travolta's career until Quentin Tarantino rediscovered him. I hated that film and I wish I could wash the memory from my mind. It was terrible.

The film I am reviewing today is the George Burns/Robby Benson flick Two of a Kind. This movie is something that I remember from my fifth grade "Movie Day" with my cute teacher, Mrs. Ashlock. She popped this movie into the VCR and we sat back and watched it with home-popped popcorn and tepid Pepsi poured from a two liter bottle.

In this film, Nolie Minor (Robby Benson) and his elderly grandfather, Ross Minor (George Burns), are two of a kind in that nobody seems to believe in them but each other. Nolie, a mentally retarded 21-year-old man with the intelligence of a child, goes to a special school for the mentally retarded and lives at home with his parents, who can't seem to agree on how to raise their son.

His father (Cliff Robertson) struggles with embarassment over Nolie's disability and wants to see him independant as an adult, while his overprotective mother (Barbara Barrie) is unwilling to let him go and still treats him like a child. Meanwhile, 81-year-old Ross is left by Nolie's parents in a nursing home, where he is given medications that seem to take all the life out of him.

When Nolie goes to the home to visit his grandfather for the first time in two years, he is shocked and heartbroken to find him bound to a wheelchair, unable to respond or communicate. However, he is determined to bring his grandfather back to the old "Papa Ross" that he has once known. Nolie visits him frequently in the home to do exercises with him and spend time with him, and gradually sees Ross improve back to the way he was.

At the same time, Nolie learns some valuable lessons about life from his grandfather, who frequently calls him "Einstein" and encourages him to always believe in himself. In summation, this movie has its funny moments and its sad moments, but is basically a poignant story of the power of love between a boy and his grandfather, and how believing in someone can truly make a difference in their lives.

I really dug the way that the movie played and upon my viewing of it today, it was every bit as sappy-sweet as I remember it. It was a blast.

Boading Balls:

I still have boxes and boxes of Baoding Balls stacked up in my living room and my wife wants me to unload them soon. Please visit my site and buy a pair or three. George Burns is looking down from heaven and he wants you to buy a pair: http://www.freewebstore.org/brownpanda/

Bamboozled and Baoding Balls

Baoding Balls

First up, please visit my store for the best selection of Baoding Balls: http://www.freewebstore.org/brownpanda/

Movie Review of the Day:

Bamboozled

Bamboozled is a 2000 satirical film written and directed by Spike Lee about a modern televised minstrel show featuring black actors donning blackface makeup and the violent fall-out from the show's success.

The content is intended as satirical, with its show within a show featuring its characters, all in blackface, performing in a watermelon patch. The Roots, a hip-hop band from Philadelphia, have a role as the show's house band, The Alabama Porch Monkeys. The audiences within the movie, initially baffled, come to love the show, and after a few episodes even elderly white women show up in blackface and proclaim themselves "niggers".

The script expresses rage and grief at media representations of black people, largely through the eyes of its moral center, Sloan Hopkins (played by Jada Pinkett Smith). It also satirizes many icons of black culture including Ving Rhames, Will Smith (real-life husband of Jada Pinkett Smith), Johnnie Cochran, and Al Sharpton (Cochran and Sharpton appear as themselves in the film, protesting against the television series).

The movie also stars Savion Glover as "Manray" (stage name Mantan, after Mantan Moreland), Tommy Davidson as Womack (stage name Sleep n' Eat, after Willie Best), Thomas Jefferson Byrd as Honeycutt, and Mos Def, Canibus, MC Serch and Charli Baltimore as four of the activist/hip hop group The Mau Maus. Mos Def's character, who calls himself "Big Blak Afrika" (refusing to spell the word "black" with the "c" because "they don't even pronounce that shit!") is also Sloan's unemployed older brother, Julius.

Pierre Delacroix (stage name for Peerless Dothan), played by Damon Wayans, is an uptight Harvard-educated black man who speaks in a nasal voice, working for a television network that routinely rejects his proposals for what he sees as intelligent shows involving black people. He is further tormented by his boss Thomas Dunwitty (played by Michael Rapaport), a tactless, boorish white man who proudly proclaims that he is more black than Delacroix and that he can use the word "nigger" since he is married to a black woman.

Facing the necessity of either coming up with a hit black-centric show or being fired, Delacroix decides to aim for the latter. If the network fires him, he rationalizes, it will release him from his employment contract, allowing him to seek work at another network. With help from his personal assistant, Sloan Hopkins (played by Jada Pinkett Smith), Delacroix decides to pitch a minstrel show, complete with black actors in blackface, in the belief that the network will reject such over-the-top racism and fire him on the spot.

Delacroix and Hopkins recruit two impoverished street performers, Manray and Womack, to star in the stage show. While Womack is horrified when Delacroix tells him about the show, his best friend Manray willfully agrees to star in the show, seeing it as his big chance to become rich and famous.

To Delacroix's horror, not only does Dunwitty enthusiastically endorse the show, it also becomes hugely successful. Manray and Womack become big stars while Delacroix, contrary to his original stated intent, defends the show as being satirical. Delacroix quickly embraces the show and his newfound fame, while Sloan becomes horrified at the racist nightmare she's helped to unleash. In the meantime, a frustrated rap group called the Mau Maus, led by "Big Blak Afrika" (Mos Def) become increasingly angry at the content of the show, and plan to use violent criminal action to express their disapproval. Eventually, Womack finally has enough of the show and its racist nature, as well as Manray's increasing ego due to his new-found stardom and quits after a heated argument with Manray. This causes Manray and Sloan to grow closer, which angers Delacroix. Delacroix tries to break up Manray's relationship with Sloan by accusing her of sleeping with Manray to further her career. Then Delacroix reveals that Hopkins only got her position as his assistant by sleeping with him (Delacroix).

The move backfires and drives Manray and Sloan even closer together. Sloan creates a tape of offending racist footage culled from assorted movies, cartoons, and newsreels to try to shame Delacroix into stopping production of the show, but he refuses to view the tape. After an argument with Delacroix over all these differences, as well as realizing he is being exploited, Manray defiantly announces that he will no longer wear blackface. He appears in front of the studio audience during a TV taping and does his dance number in his regular clothing. The network executives immediately turn against Manray, and Dunwitty personally fires him from the show and throws him out of the studio.

After the studio kicks Manray out, Sloan's brother Julius aka Big Blak Afrika and the Mau Maus kidnap him. They then announce a plan to publicly execute Manray on a live internet webcast. The authorities work feverishly to track down the source of the internet feed, but Manray is assassinated (as a sort of sacrificial figure at his death). The police quickly catch The Mau Maus, shooting them down in a hail of bullets. They leave only one survivor, a white member known as "One-Sixteenth Black", who tearfully proclaims that he is "black" and demands to die with his groupmates instead of being arrested. Furious, Sloan confronts Delacroix at gunpoint and demands that he watch the tape she prepared for him. Delacroix refuses and tries to get the gun, but is shot in the stomach. Sloan, horrified, flees while proclaiming that it was Delacroix's own fault that he got shot. Delacroix, after positioning the gun to make the wound appear self-inflicted, watches the tape as he lies dying on the floor.

The film concludes with a long montage of racially insensitive and demeaning clips of black characters from Hollywood films of the first half of the 20th century. Among the films used in the sequence are The Birth of a Nation, The Jazz Singer, Gone with the Wind, Babes in Arms, Holiday Inn, Ub Iwerks' cartoon Little Black Sambo, Walter Lantz's cartoon Scrub Me Mama with a Boogie Beat, the Merrie Melodies short All This and Rabbit Stew, and, from the Hal Roach comedy School's Out, Our Gang (Little Rascals) kids Allen "Farina" Hoskins and Matthew "Stymie" Beard.

This film is so good that it is actually frightening. Lee is able to make you believe that this could actually happen (and I believe that it could). It is so troubling to see the events unfold and how readily the American public accepts this type of production. I was sickened and saddened at the same time. With strong visuals and a satirical edge, Lee has awoken me from my sleep. All I can say is BRAVO.

Baoding Balls:

Come on and buy some. Mantan would tell you to scoop up a couple of pairs: http://www.freewebstore.org/brownpanda/

The Bounty and Baoding Balls

Plug it in:

Please come visit my store to find the finest assortment of Baoding Balls that exist on the internet: http://www.freewebstore.org/brownpanda

Movie Review of the Day:

The Bounty

The film is based on the real life story of Captain William Bligh, against whom a mutiny is led by Master's Mate Fletcher Christian. This version follows both the efforts of Fletcher Christian (Mel Gibson) to get his men beyond the reach of British retribution, and the epic voyage of Captain Bligh (Anthony Hopkins) to get his loyalists safely to East Timor in a tiny lifeboat.

Unlike earlier versions, this film did not portray Bligh as a villainous character, and it paints a far less heroic portrait of Christian. In Gibson’s description, “Fletcher was just a lad of twenty-two and he behaved like one. The first time he decided to test his horns and fight for the herd, it was a mistake. He shouldn't have done it.” The film also portrays the sailors exploiting the islanders. Gibson said, “It was a complete culture shock and it was unbelievable to them. It was paradise in terms of personal freedoms - freedoms that shouldn't have been taken advantage of. They exploited the people, fooled them, and didn't tell them the whole truth.” Gibson chose to suddenly erupt in violent emotion during the mutiny scene because eyewitness accounts had described Christian as 'extremely agitated' and 'sweating and crying.'

This film is very nice. I am not only referring to the bare-breasted Island girls that populate a large portion of this film, but to the acting as well. Anthony Hopkins is able to be both villainous and sympathetic at the same time. That is quite a feat, in my humble opinion.

Mel Gibson gives a very real performance as a man torn between two worlds. His loyalties are tried and he cannot stand the stern hand of his superior when the pressure is on. He might be a great leader or just a weak anarchist. You never learn which one he is.

The tension on the boat is pure cinematic gold. Anthony Hopkins chews up scenery like he was Takeru Kobayashi. I loved every moment of this film and only wish that there had been more of Anthony Hopkins in this version.

Overall, it was a very good film that tries to be historically accurate and never loses its way. VERY good film.

Baoding Balls:

Fletcher Christian would want you to buy a pair of Baoding Balls:

http://www.freewebstore.org/brownpanda

Christine and Baoding Balls

Plug and Plug Again:

I will once again remind you that I have the finest selection of Baoding Balls for a reasonable price. I won't even gyp you on the shipping: http://www.freewebstore.org/brownpanda

Movie Review of the Day:

John Carpenter's Christine

The movie stars Keith Gordon as Arnie Cunningham, a typical high school nerd with only one friend, a childhood companion named Dennis Guilder (John Stockwell), a popular jock. Arnie's life begins to change when he discovers Christine, a red 1958 Plymouth Fury in serious need of repair. Arnie begins to restore Christine to her original beauty, but as he spends more and more of his time repairing her, those in his life notice that he is changing as well. Formerly shy, Arnie develops a cocky arrogance. Dennis, as well as Arnie's new girlfriend Leigh Cabot, played by Alexandra Paul, discover that the car has a deadly past. The previous owner, Roland LeBay, became consumed with Christine and he paid for it with his life. Leigh and Dennis try to save Arnie from a similar fate. They realize that the only way to save Arnie is by destroying Christine. Christine, however, isn't ready to give up Arnie without a fight.

First off, I love this film. When I first heard Tanya Tucker's cover of "Won't Fade Away", I was sucked into this movie. Keith Gordon does something incredible with his role and I cannot think of another time when an actor went through such a metamorphosis as effectively. He starts out being the biggest dork in the world and then slowly evolves into the ultimate badass. Very cool.

John Stockwell is good, but his character has a lot less to do than in the novel. Buddy Repperton and Moochie were fun characters and I liked watching their demise captured so effectively on film. Bullies deserve deaths like the ones suffered in this film!

John Carpenter sure did an excellent job of crafting this film and the soundtrack/score. I love John Carpenter's scores and he does not disappoint in this film. I even bought the score from iTunes just so I could hear that haunting theme in my headphones. Creepy!

In all, this is an effective translation of one of Stephen King's finer works. It's not a rape of Stephen King's source material like Lawnmower Man or The Running Man. No, this is a great film. I loved every moment of it. You will too.

Baoding Balls Are Back:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7fDmD6TgYU

Let me tell you some more about Baoding Balls. They are great fun and a wonderful exercise for your hands. Many people ask me how they are used, so I have devised the following list of steps to become adept at using your Baoding Balls:

Learn the Technique of Using Meditation Balls

Step 1 Lay the palm of your hand flat. You can use meditation balls not only during meditation, but also anytime you're seated or while walking.

Step 2 Place both meditation balls in the palm of your hand.

Step 3 Use your thumb to push the ball closest to your wrist towards your pinky finger.

Step 4 Raise your pinky finger to guide the ball towards your ring finger. The other ball should now be the one closest to your wrist.

Step 5 Use each of your fingers, in sequence, to guide the top ball along your hand in a clockwise direction. Meanwhile, use your thumb and the base of the palm of your hand to guide the ball closest to your wrist back towards your pinky finger.

Step 6 Repeat until you get comfortable moving the meditation balls in a fluid motion.

Step 7 Keep both balls in contact with each other at all times. They shouldn't be banging into each other and distracting your concentration.

Step 8 Increase your speed as you get better at controlling the meditation balls.

Step 9 Reverse the direction of the meditation balls by using the thumb to guide the ball closest to your wrist up towards your index finger instead of towards your pinky finger. This counter-clockwise motion takes more practice, but is an effective way to vary the physical demands meditation balls make on your fingers.

Step 10 Learn more. Visit the American Chinese Medicine Association Web site to find out more about Chinese health balls

The Brown Panda Store:

Come on by and snap up a pair of my fancy Boading Balls. If you don't come, I'll have Mr. LeBay haunt your dreams : http://www.freewebstore.org/brownpanda

Roadracers and Baoding Balls

Plugging Away:

Please come visit my webstore for the finest selection of Baoding Balls: http://www.freewebstore.org/brownpanda

Movie Review of The Day:

ROADRACERS : Directed by Robert Rodriguez

Roadracers is a 1994 made-for-television film directed by Robert Rodriguez, his second feature film following the success of his 1992 debut, El Mariachi. The film originally aired on Showtime Network as part of their Rebel Highway series that took the titles of 1950s-era B-movies and applied them to original films starring up-and-coming actors of the 1990s (including the likes of Alicia Silverstone and Shannen Doherty) and directed by established directors such as William Friedkin, Joe Dante, and Ralph Bakshi. Rodriguez was the only young director to participate in the series. The series was produced by the son and daughter of Samuel Z. Arkoff, the co-founder and producer of American International Pictures (AIP), the distributor of the films this series takes its titles from.

Robert Rodriguez's take concerned a rebel named Dude (David Arquette) who dreams of leaving his dead end small town and becoming a rockabilly star but gets caught up in a nasty feud with the town's local sheriff (William Sadler) and his son (Jason Wiles). Salma Hayek plays the Dude's girlfriend.

This flick is pretty damn cool, if you ask me. David Arquette, who has starred in his share of cinematic steaming-turds, actually has something to do in this film. The period in time is represented well and the attitude of the film is something to stand back in awe of. Dude is cool and The Nixer is just plain fun.

I am a fan of the "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" subplot, simply because it adds to the whole "Grindhouse" feel of this film. I can imagine kicking back in my Rootbeer-Brown 1965 Chevy Impala at a drive-in, making out with some hot chick, and drinking a Cherry Coke while this film plays in the background. I LOVE THIS FILM!

Salma Hayek... what can I say about her that has not already been said? She's smoking-hot, a great actress, and she has fun with her role. She is not a mere puppet in this film. She has some character development that I found interesting.

Now for the gags... I loved the pomade on the skating rink bit. I also liked the cigarette in the hair, the flying bottle of ketchup, and the wig scene. These helped add shlock-value and fun to this crazy film.

The music was great and fit in well. Jason Wiles was a great bad-guy. I got what he was trying to portray and it worked for me. Also, The Nixer's speech about the timeline of his life, as it relates to the lifespan of the universe was acted in a professional manner. Me likey.

I suggest you go see this film. Go see it now. Your only problem will be that this film ONLY EXISTS ON VHS at the moment!!! I have an import-version of the DVD, but I want a badass version with all of the bells and whistles (a Ten Minute Film School is a must). Anyways, you must see this film, even if you can only see it on VHS. I know you will be pleased.

More about Baoding Balls:

You can buy them here: http://www.freewebstore.org/brownpanda

How They Work

Regular use of Baoding balls is believed to calm the mind and body and also prevent, alleviate and even cure some ailments. The mild effort required to use them can relax muscles and joints in the arm and shoulder and improve blood circulation. But the effect of Baoding balls goes a little deeper than that according to Chinese medicine.

Chinese medical theory maintains that there are specific paths that run throughout our bodies. These paths are known as meridians, and they are the conduits of the energy that flows through each person. The meridians connect all the systems of the body, so a seemingly unrelated action could affect something else in the body. Acupuncture and reflexology both take meridians into consideration. Chinese medicine is mainly concerned with unblocking the meridians and keeping the flow of energy strong. If your flow is strong then you are healthy—blocked or stagnant meridians cause health problems.

Because certain meridians end on your palms and fingers, and because these meridians are connected to vital areas of the body, including the heart and lungs, stimulating your hands can revitalize or unblock specific meridians in the body, increasing your well-being.

How to Use Them

To begin, choose a pair of balls you can handle easily. Place them in your hand and use your palm and fingers to rotate the balls in the direction that seems most natural. You can also tilt your palm at different angles in order to let gravity help you along. Once you are comfortable with rotating in one direction, experiment with the opposite direction. Your goal should be to eventually be able to rotate the balls comfortably in either direction.

There are different ways to use Baoding balls. You can rotate them smoothly so they don’t hit each other hard, or for challenge you can rotate them so they don’t touch at all. Remember to keep switching your hands so you maintain a healthy balance. As your hands strengthen, you can increase the size of the balls. If you practice for 10-15 minutes, you will notice that your forearm, shoulder, and hands are receiving a substantial workout.

Baoding Balls:

The Brown Panda Store has a wide selection of Baoding Balls for sale. I will make you a deal and my site has some super-prices just for you. Even J.T. would buy a pair. Come on by: http://www.freewebstore.org/brownpanda

Rocky III and Baoding Balls

Plugging Away:

Please visit my store for all of your Baoding Ball needs: http://www.freewebstore.org/brownpanda

Brown Panda Adventures:

One day I found myself in some village in a remote part of Mindanao and I met this young Arab chap who was holding an AK-47. He nodded at me and gave me a greeting in Arabic. Since speaking Arabic is a sign of brotherhood in Mindanao, I returned his salutation and gave him the slightest of nods. He gave me a toothy smile and motioned for me to come closer.
I unslung my backpack and placed it near a banana tree as I approached the young man. He handed me the AK-47 and said, "Shoot that can over there."
Being a veteran of Bosnia, I aimed the weapon and hit the target. The man smiled and said, "You should join my cause."
I shook my head and said, "I am on a quest to find myself. I have no time for war."
The man said, "But I fight for the side of righteousness."
"Righteousness is in the eyes of the beholder," was my reply.
He pointed at his Holy Book and said, "The rules are laid out in my book. I know what is right because God already told us what is correct and what is incorrect."
I did not argue with the young man. I opened my backpack and handed him a Hershey Bar which was smooshy from the hot and humid air. His eyes lit up and he consumed the sticky mess with a few quick slurps. He nodded towards me as a sign of respect. There would be no more theological discussions, for chocolate heals all heartache.
That is a lesson I learned while searching for the elusive Brown Panda. No matter how convicted somebody is, a small gift can help them see clearly. And chocolate can cure all ills in this world.




Movie Review of the Day:

Rocky III
What can I say that has not already been said? This film has to be my favorite of the series and for good reason: great action, great story, and most of all... great villain! Apollo Creed was not scary, he was not mean, and he was not a serious threat to our hero. He was tough and playful; not the most frightening mix.
Now Mr. T... he is badass! I love his character (even though he is merely playing himself) and I love how he can stand toe-to-toe with Rocky. Mr. T is my hero. If this movie were made today, I would have to hire Ving Rhames to play this part. Mr. T totally owned his role and carries this film.
Stallone is good as always. He is capable and he actually looks like a boxer in this film. He is shredded and looks like he is going to eat a small child. I have no inclination for homosexuality, but Stallone is just plain beautiful in this film.
The opening montage is clean, fun, and I love how the music carries the action. This film is very Hollywood with not much realism in terms of boxing, but that does not matter. This film sets a standard for Hollywood boxing that stands to this day. Nobody can do boxing flicks like Stallone.
The fight with Hulk Hogan is clean fun. It has little danger for our hero but it plays just like a professional wrestling match. Hulk Hogan is playing himself and he plays himself well. He is a scary dude and that goofy haircut does not distract from his character. His skin is the color of a burned hotdog and he stands a few feet taller than Stallone, so he looks REALLY scary to me.
The plot is standard Hollywood fare, but it remains fun and action-packed. I never get bored with this film and the training montages are some of the best ever. Stallone came close to this with Rocky Balboa, but I have to say that Rocky III is my favorite.
Baoding Balls:
If Rocky had used a set of Baoding Balls in his training, I am sure that he would have not lost to Mr. T the first time. Baoding Balls are an excellent fitness tool and should be owned by every serious athlete or armchair quarterback. You can get them here: http://www.freewebstore.org/brownpanda

Karate Kid III and Baoding Balls

Shameless Plug:

Please come visit my store for the finest collection of Baoding Balls in the US. Low prices and super service! http://www.freewebstore.org/brownpanda

The Brown Panda

During my spiritual journey, I found myself on a quest to find the Brown Panda. Some people call it a red panda, but I was always told it was called a brown panda. Anyways, I was on this quest throughout Asia in search of this animal and I had many adventures along the way. I will expound upon my many adventures in future blogs. Today I am going to talk about Pandas.

Let me introduce you to a little known animal. His name is the Brown Panda. The brown panda is dwarfed by the black-and-white giant that shares its name. These pandas typically grow to the size of a house cat, though their big, bushy tails add an additional 18 inches (46 centimeters). The pandas use their ringed tails as wraparound blankets in the chilly mountain heights.

The brown panda shares the giant panda's rainy, high-altitude forest habitat, but has a wider range. Brown pandas live in the mountains of Nepal and northern Myanmar (Burma), as well as in central China.

These animals spend most of their lives in trees and even sleep aloft. When foraging, they are most active at night as well as in the gloaming hours of dusk and dawn. Brown pandas have a taste for bamboo but, unlike their larger relatives, they eat many other foods as well—fruit, acorns, roots, and eggs. Like giant pandas, they have an extended wrist bone that functions almost like a thumb and greatly aids their grip.They are shy and solitary except when mating.

Females give birth in the spring and summer, typically to one to four young. Young brown pandas remain in their nests for about 90 days, during which time their mother cares for them. (Males take little or no interest in their offspring.) The brown panda has given scientists taxonomic fits. It has been classified as a relative of the giant panda, and also of the raccoon, with which it shares a ringed tail. Currently, brown pandas are considered members of their own unique family—the Ailuridae.

Brown pandas are endangered, victims of deforestation. Their natural space is shrinking as more and more forests are destroyed by logging and the spread of agriculture (http://animals.nationalgeographic.com/animals/mammals/red-panda.html).

So there you have it. The Brown Panda is a beautiful animal and his habitat is endangered. Please help to save the forests of Southeast Asia. Thank you.

Movie Review of the Day:

I tuned in to The Karate Kid III on HBO the other night and I rediscovered my fascination with "underdog sports flicks". The movie was much stupider than I remember and the acting was very wooden. Pat Morita did a good job, as always, but Ralph Macchio was whiny, stupid, and overly chubby. His love-interest, the cute but forgettable Robyn Lively, never develops into anything more than a "firm-handshake" friend. Then she just disappears before the end of the film. I suspect old Danial-Saan may be playing for the pink team, if you know what I mean.

The plot is retarded. Daniel is back in LA, his apartment building is being torn down, and now he lives with Mr. Miyagi. Now Daniel wants to defend his title at the All Valley, but Mr. Miyagi says that "fighting to protect honor or family, OK. Fighting to protect plastic trophy, not OK."

Then Daniel says that the new rules allow the current champion to only fight in the final round. Let me explain to you how stupid this idea is. As somebody who has competed in many martial arts tournaments, there is no way that any self-respecting tournament is going to let anybody only fight in a championship round. The other fighter would be tired from all of his qualifying matches and the champ would still be fresh. This is a totally unfair advantage, IMHO.

So this "bye" into the finals is an obvious plot loophole to avoid tagging another twenty minutes of montage and footage to the end of the film which would essentially be the same as the final 20 minutes of montage and footage in the first film of the series. The idea of a respected tournament giving a bye to the reigning champion seems without precedent and if this occurred in the real world almost certainly would be met with disdain and protest by tournament competitors.

Now for the controversial part. I like Thomas Ian Griffith and Martin Kove. They are very capable actors and Griffith seems to move like a trained martial-artist. What bothers me is that these two were shoehorned into this lame script. I bet that these two actors could have written a better film on the back of a cocktail napkin during a night of drinking after a Dodger's game. The whole scenario, where this rich-kid businessman is going to plot and scheme to get revenge on Danial-Saan and Mr. Miyagi by humiliating them at the tournament is just lame. And the whole "John Kreese is dead" subplot is was just stupid.

Now we get to the biggest leap of faith. Thomas Ian Griffith, who is YOUNGER than Ralph Macchio, is playing a Vietnam Veteran. WTF??? How in the hell is a guy who was born in 1962 going to play a Vietnam Vet? If we forget about the age thing, let's ask ourselves, why is a super-rich kid even going to join the military during the Vietnam War? Didn't he ever hear of daddy buying him a deferment?

What is the most annoying thing about this film? The character named Snake, played by the retarded Jonathan Avildsen in an astonishing act of nepotism (his daddy directed this film). He is not tough, he is not threatening, and he can't act his was out of a wet paper bag. His catchphrase, "You know it," is just plain lame.

Finally, Sean Kanan, who looks like a young Sasha Mitchell, is a nice villain but he is used in such a retarded manner. He never gets to do anything but utter threats and throw a few kicks. I know that Kanan is a better actor than what was captured in this turd of a film.

What I want to know is why Daniel, who fought Chozen for HIS LIFE in the previous film, now acts like a wimp and a crybaby when he's fighting for a freaking bonsai tree. This movie is fun to watch but you have to put on your "suspension of disbelief goggles" to truely enjoy it.

Fun, yes. Believable, nope. I would actually watch part 1 and part 2 and forget that the series continued. I pray that somebody goes Bryan Singer on this film and makes a third film worthy of the first two. Now we need somebody to play Danial-Saan and Mr. Miyagi.

Baoding Balls:

I'm still selling them, folks. Please visit my site and order a pair. Mr. Miyagi would order you to get a set to make your life longer and more prosperous. http://www.freewebstore.org/brownpanda

Baoding Balls, Oh Joy!

First, please visit my store: http://www.freewebstore.org/brownpanda
Now that we have that out of the way, I can get to my story:
So my latest shipment came in from China and I was looking through the boxes and I found a really neat pair of Rainbow Chrome balls. I emailed my suppler and he told me that it was a special treat for me to try to sell. I listed them on Ebay and they sold in the first day. I was impressed.
I have ordered more of these Rainbow Chrome balls and I will continue to stock my other designs. My supplier has a huge list of balls that he offers so I will be adding more and more as time goes on. Keep checking back with me and I will tell you more.
Now more about me:
I was born in San Jose, California and I was uprooted at a very young age and taken to Malaysia by my family. I was raised in Malaysia and I returned to the US in my late teens. I have been here in the US for about as long as I was in Malaysia so I guess you can say that I am a mixture of Asian and American cultures. Oh Joy.
Movie Review of the Day:
The other day I was watching Hell in the Pacific with Lee Marvin and Toshiro Mifune and I was stunned at how excellent that film is. Never before have I seen genre filmmaking that was so effective. Lee Marvin is cool, but Toshiro Mifune is my personal hero. He is scary, friendly, and enchanting all at the same time. Lee Marvin is just a plain tough-guy that I would not want to fight, even in his 60's.
The way that the director uses pantomime and the lack of dialogue just adds to the isolation that the characters must feel. I was impressed with this film. I love every moment of it and I wish that there were more films like this that I could watch.
On a side note, I love Comcast's On Demand service. I can watch all kinds of films and rewind, fast forward, and pause them without having to go to the video store or wait for a disk in the mail. Kudos to Comcast!!!
The Brown Panda Store:
This blog is always going to be a shameless plug for my online store (http://www.freewebstore.org/brownpanda). Please come to my store and look at my merchandise. You can also find deals on Ebay, since I am always listing items just for fun. If you want a deal, check Ebay. If you just want to buy the product, go to my site. I am happy to have you as a customer. Come on over... the water's fine!

http://www.freewebstore.org/brownpanda

The Brown Panda Store (Baoding Balls)

Welcome ladies and gents. My name is P. Romero and I am the founder of The Brown Panda Store (http://www.freewebstore.org/brownpanda). I have a little yarn to spin about the founding of the store and my subsequent interest in Baoding Balls.

During my early years I found myself on a spiritual quest in South East Asia. I searched the jungles of Borneo and the mountains of Vietnam and Cambodia for answers to life's questions. I lived in the Hmong villages of Laos and studied the religion of my host family.

One night, I dreamed of a brown panda and suddenly, I had to find one. I traveled to the Himalayas on my quest to locate a brown panda, yet my efforts were in vain. Then my guide told me that a nature preserve in Malaysia had a brown panda in its park. I flew to Mindanao and caught a ride on a boat that was headed to Sabah. From there, I wandered throughout the lands of the Iban and found the park where the brown panda lived.

I lived with the Iban for many months and I learned their culture. We hunted fish with spears and tracked tapirs to feed the village. One afternoon, one of the men in the village came to me and said that he had spotted the brown panda. He guided me to the location of the sighting and I climbed a durian tree to get a better look at the creature of my dreams.

I lost my footing and fell into a large durian that had fallen from the tree earlier. I broke both of my hands and was left helpless while my guide ran back to the village for help. I passed out from the pain.

I awoke in a shaman's hut with the pulp of a local plant smeared on my splinted hands. I spent weeks recovering and I found that my hands could no longer perform basic functions. I was devastated.

I told the shaman, who happened to be a Iban, that I was depressed. He showed me a small cloth-covered box and said in his native language, "I have the cure for your hands." He opened the box and I saw two shiny Baoding Balls.

Now you may ask, "What is a Baoding Ball?"

Baoding balls, also called Chinese exercise balls, Chinese meditation balls, and Chinese medicine balls, are thought to have been created in Baoding, China, during the Ming dynasty. Baoding balls are a tool for injury recovery or as an exercise tool to improve manual dexterity and strength. They consist of two or more balls which are rotated to orbit in the hand. The iron-ball system is the greatest of Baoding prefecture's "three treasures." Long throughout history, renowned within China and other countries, this is Baoding prefecture's traditional product. It was first produced in the Northern Song Dynasty, this item of Buddhist martial arts.

Claimed effects from using Baoding Balls include the obvious, like the calming effect of the soft bell sounds and increasing finger speed and control if you practice often enough. But it is the less obvious effects that make the Baoding balls really interesting.
Mostly, it is emphasized that repetitive use of the Baoding balls will help protect against all chronic diseases. The Jakun people believe that the body is composed out of energy channels through which a life force runs. The ten fingers are all linked to the heart, and therefore also connected to every organ and nerve in the entire body. This is pretty much the same as modern reflexology claims, and of course it is similar to the shiatsu meridians and acupressure/puncture.

Spinning the balls will energize the flow of life energy and apparently the blood flow as well. It will balance out all the acupressure points in your body. So when used, the muscles and bones will become stronger and the mind faster. They also promote sleep, loosen the joints, relieve fatigue, drown worries, strengthen the immune system, prolong life, etc. The memory will be beneficially influenced as well. At least, that is what the claims are. The Brown Panda Store aims to offer Baoding Balls, not just for rehabilitation, but for decoration and for individuals who wish to bring a small taste of Asia into their home. Roll a pair of Baoding Balls in your hand and see if you do not become addicted.

Now you may ask, "How do you use these darned things?"

Once you have a set of Baoding Balls, you will probably want to know how to use them. You can throw them and break a lamp in your living room, but where is the fun in that? I prefer to use my Baoding Balls as they were designed to be used. Watch the videos below to fully understand the addictive quality of the Baoding Ball.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fyuIu7jEnsY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iSVl2kkzJpw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKAgNWocsts

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkKMpBKtVkg&feature=related

Now I know you want a pair of these Baoding Balls. You can buy them online for relatively cheap. Here is my store: http://www.freewebstore.org/brownpanda

I will make you a deal. Come on by.